


i lose my rhythm (lose my soul)

by areyouevenrealbro



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Months, Non-Linear Narrative, References to Depression, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, literally just, that’s super important and i forgot to tag it for like, the sex is super vague in this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-18
Updated: 2018-01-18
Packaged: 2019-03-06 08:19:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,289
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13407201
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/areyouevenrealbro/pseuds/areyouevenrealbro
Summary: mitch was an enigma. auston had never been able to pin him down with just one word.(or, mitch comes to auston in flashes of memories.)





	i lose my rhythm (lose my soul)

**Author's Note:**

> IF YOU GOT HERE FROM GOOGLING YOURSELF OR ANYONE YOU KNOW, SAVE ME FROM CRIPPLING EMBARRASSMENT AND CLICK AWAY NOW
> 
> this was literally written in like an hour because im trash and was struck by inspiration like i dont have literally 4 WIPs i should definitely be working on. also i skipped doing my AP world history assignment to write this so i hope yall enjoy. 
> 
> not beta read, so all mistakes are on me. and theres a bunch, im sure.
> 
> title from final song by MØ

If you said the word “Mitch” to Auston, he wouldn’t be able to tell you the first word that came to mind.

Mitch was an enigma. Auston had never been able to pin him down with just one word. Mostly, he came in flashes.

He came to Auston as the morning of a day off after a good game. As pale gold skin against white bed sheets while the sun rose, its rays peeking through the window. As sleepy eyes blinking open into his. Auston would often already have been awake-not too long, but long enough that he would already have their coffees ready for them. He would set them onto his bedside table and crawl back in bed just in time for Mitch to wake.

It was a slow process. First, he would sigh heavily. Scrunch his nose up and let out a small whine, stretching his legs out. His arm would throw itself out, searching for Auston’s warmth. He would burrow straight into him when he found his way to his torso. Their legs would tangle into a Gordian Knot of skin, unable to tell where one ended and the other began. Auston would press his lips to Mitch’s temple, again and again, unable to help himself. Almost unconsciously, Mitch would begin to pepper soft open mouthed kisses onto his bare chest. He would lift his head after a few moments of this, looking disgruntled and soft and like everything Auston had prayed for.

“’S too early,” he would mumble, tucking his head back into Auston’s neck. “Sleep now.”

Their coffees would be cold by the time they touched them.

 

Mitch came to Auston as a beautiful pass, as a game winning goal, as the pane of glass he broke off of his pass on their first day together. As his body in Auston’s arms, unable to hug him the way he wanted to with all their pads in the way after a game-winning goal. As the split second they had where all twenty thousand people in that arena melted away, and it was just the two of them. This moment was theirs. They were all that mattered. As the feeling of their teammates wrapping themselves around them. As the overwhelming urge to kiss him right there, because he just loved him so much and he just wanted to let everyone know that hey, Mitch was Auston’s and Auston was Mitch’s and even if this didn’t end the way Auston wanted it to, there would be a permanent Mitch-shaped scar on Auston’s heart that he would never be able to bring himself to regret.

He shook his gloves out, soothed by the knowledge that their teammates were forming a sort of wall around them, letting them have their moment without the eyes of a million strangers on them. Mitch’s helmet was the next to go. Auston let himself brush over one of his cheekbones, smooth and soft under his calloused thumb. Mitch’s wide smile remained on his face, his eyes never leaving Auston’s. They knew what they were doing. They knew that to anyone else, this bordered on too private of a moment to be just two teammates.

Unfortunately, Willy and Matt realized this as well.

Mitch was torn from Auston’s grip by a smiling Matt. His smile was easygoing, but his eyes held a warning for them. Auston could feel himself being tugged into Willy’s arms.

“You can’t, Matts,” Willy whispered into his ear. “I’m sorry, Auston. I’m so sorry.”

 

***

 

Mitch came to Auston as a hurricane. As rain slamming into windows, as furious lightning and crackling thunder. As a screaming match in the kitchen over something stupid that Auston couldn’t even remember. As soul-wrenching tears and sobs that made Auston want to wrap his arms around his own chest, just to hold himself together so that he didn’t fall apart as well. Auston would try to wrap Mitch into his chest, just to get him to breathe, but would instead get Mitch’s smaller fists beating into his chest, writhing to retreat from his grip. He would weep and fight until he was too tired to continue, and he allowed himself to collapse against Auston, apologizing, sniffling, and worming his way deeper into his chest and somehow, his heart. Auston was powerless to stop him, unable to do anything but shush him softly and murmur quietly into his ear how much he loved him, how much he meant to Auston, how he wanted him no matter what.

Later, when they had both calmed down and he was laying on top of Auston on their couch, Mitch would speak.

“It scares me how much you mean to me. How much we have to lose,” he’d say.

“It shouldn’t,” Auston would reply easily. “It shouldn’t scare you. I’m not going anywhere, no matter what happens, I swear to God.”

 

***

 

He came as flashing lights at a club in the Bahamas where nobody knew their names, where they were just two bodies among hundreds of others on a dance floor. He came as one too many pina coladas at the bar. He came as the sight of him leading Auston by the hand to the center of a crowd of writhing bodies, as a mischievous glint in his eye as he looked back at him.

He came as the heart palpitations he found himself experiencing as Mitch settled Auston’s own hands over his hips, as the sound of his breathy gasp over the sound of a thumping bass, as the grind of his body against Auston’s. As the salty sweat that Auston tasted as he sucked on his neck.

He came as one awkward elevator ride back to their suite with a family of four side eyeing the two of them.

He came as curling toes, as his hands sliding down Auston’s body, as his tongue in Mitch’s mouth. He came as panting breaths, as pleading for something, anything, as cries into the otherwise deafening silence of the room.

He came as Auston did.

 

***

 

Mitch came to Auston as an angel. As someone to pull him out of his worst days. As a driving force on the days that he thought getting out of bed, that dressing himself in a shirt and shoes and the hopes of a city desperate to win again, was impossible. Mitch came to Auston as mild words and a gentle touch running through his hair. As hands forcing a steaming mug of tea into his own, and as lips pressed against his forehead. 

He did not come to Auston as a solution, but rather as something to aide him in his darkest hour.

When his hour had passed, he always made sure to shuffle up behind Mitch at the stove, to wrap his arms around his waist, and settle his chin upon his head.

“Thank you,” he would say.

He didn’t have to see MItch’s face to know he was smiling.

 

***

 

Most of all, though, Mitch came to Auston as...well, Mitch. As a wish he never thought would come true. For Auston, he is the human embodiment of love. Of compassion, and sensitivity. As his best friend, as his soulmate. Auston’s life prior to Mitch was great, yes, but life with Mitch was beautiful. It was colorful. His life was vibrant in shades of deep blues and passionate reds in a way that it had never been before. 

He wasn’t sure what he had done in his previous life to deserve the man that laid next to him sound asleep now, but he supposed it didn’t do him any good to dwell on it. He was here now. They were both here now. 

Mitch was an enigma. Auston was never letting him go.

**Author's Note:**

> please please please comment, kudos, and bookmark if you like this!!
> 
> find me on tumblr at @ohmymarnthews!


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